


a glimpse of your elusive heart

by Trotter



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Lee Seokmin is a disaster, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trotter/pseuds/Trotter
Summary: Seokmin's hyungs  aren’t petty, just mischievous. They coo suggestively when NCT bows in their direction, sigh different variations of his name when Jaehyun smiles.(Seokmin glances at Jeonghan’s huge grin. Mostly harmless, he amends.)So it comes as a weird kind of surprise when they make such a big deal of it when Seokmin gets invited to a new show called A Day With and it turns out Jung Jaehyun is to be his co-star. Jeonghan is supportive of their friendship, right up until he's not anymore.





	a glimpse of your elusive heart

“Woozi-yah,” Jeonghan says. “I can’t believe the day has come for me to say this, but Seokmin-ah’s right.”

“I can’t believe it either,” Seokmin says, unoffended.

Jihoon just looks at them both with his beady little eyes. With his right hand he’s twisting a pen in tight, concentric circles that Seokmin had stopped being intimidated by a long time ago. Now it’s just a neat trick—a personal talent, if the variety fountain ever ran dry. Seokmin lets himself get hypnotized by it while he waits for Woozi to plod his way to a decision because if he starts thinking now, he knows he’s going to scream.

“I agree,” he says, finally. “I think Seokmin-ah should be the one representing our team as well, hyung.”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, very elaborately. “With _that_ completely unexpected input in mind, vocal team unanimously agrees right? We’re sending Seokmin-ah on a date with Joohyun?”

“His name’s Jaemin, hyung,” Soonyoung corrects with a sniff. He turns to Seokmin, eyes alight. “I can’t believe you’re going to leave the nest. You’re so young! It feels like yesterday you were all snot-nosed and building shrines in our dorm for Jaeyoung!”

“That’s my line,” says Jeonghan. “It was like every time he sees a dog but worse because Jaehyo actually might not like him back.”

His hyungs, Seokmin knows, all know Jaehyun’s name perfectly well, to say nothing of his birth year, star sign and blood type. He’d once caught Shua-hyung Navering something that looked a lot like _Jung Jaehyun NCT birth weight_ before he’d noticed Seokmin and hurriedly shut his laptop down. It’s exactly like them to go this overboard just to make fun of Seokmin’s crush. His hyungs aren’t petty, just mischievous.

(Seokmin glances at Jeonghan’s huge grin. _Mostly,_ he amends _._ )

So it came as a weird kind of surprise when they made such a big deal of it when Seokmin got invited to a new show called A Day With and it turned out Jung Jaehyun was to be his co-star.

Mingyu and Minghao both lift their heads when Seokmin whines sadly. “There, there,” Minghao says, voice dripping with sleep.

Weekly meetings always end with the hyung line quibbling over the little things, and the younger kids all tend to doze off on each other’s shoulders till they’re done. This is the first time Seokmin’s witnessed how the soda in the dorm were actually divvied up (seventy per cent for vocal team because they needed to ‘hydrate and take care of their throats’; thirty for hiphop because Coups physically wouldn’t surrender the bottles; performance got whatever they could steal from the others. Not for the first time, Seokmin is glad he’s on the same team as Jeonghan.) 

“ _Neither_ of you is his mother so shut up,” says Coups. “You’re not doing a great job of convincing me that this isn’t a terrible idea.”

Soonyoung rounds on him immediately. “No, shut up, it’s the best idea,” he says. “Carats love all this bromance stuff. They eat it up. I.M.-ah went on the show before and he said their view counts tripled. Plus Seungkwannie’s too smooth and I’m too handsome and the rest of you are so, so boring. Seoku’s our best bet.”

“God help us.”

“Plus it’s _Jaehyun,”_ says Jeonghan, smiling a little sly smile at Seokmin, as needling as a suggestive wink, and having the same effect: Seokmin blushes and fidgets with his fingers.

A sigh goes through the room.

“It _is_ Jaehyun,” Seungcheol says with a fond smile in his voice. “Guess that’s all there is to it.”

 

 

“What’s all this bromance stuff about, anyway, hyung,” Chan asks him later, while Seokmin’s preoccupied with making sure Jeonghan hasn’t fallen asleep with his toothbrush in his mouth. “I mean, you’re funny, but you get so boring when you’re around him. Shouldn’t we be sending Mingyu-hyung or Minghao-hyung?”

“Ah, Dino-yah,” Jeonghan sighs, like he hadn’t just nearly died by asphyxiation by toothpaste. “You have so much to learn about the idol world. It doesn’t matter that Seokmin’s jokes become as bad as Cheol’s when he’s talking to Jamong. Actually, it’s better if you act more uncomfortable than you actually are.  Awkwardly offer him something to drink every time there’s a lull in conversation. Offer to hang up his coat. Always keep reminding him that you’re his industry sunbae! Such is bromance!”

Chan, who has learned through trial and error that anything Jeonghan says in that particular tone of voice is an exaggeration of the truth (at best), turns toward Seokmin. “Hyung,” he tries again. “Why is it so important to everyone that you go?”

“Because I want to,” Seokmin says, aware of Jeonghan’s eyes on him. “I want to stop being so stupid nervous around him and the hyungs are supporting me with that. Right, Hannie-hyung?”

Caught, Jeonghan pinks and gives a desultory smile. “Don’t read too much into it, Kyeom-ah.”

Seokmin beams at him until Jeonghan relents, hand coming up to give Seokmin’s hair a little tug before he starts stroking. “Don’t get your expectations too high,” Jeonghan drones. “You’ll only end up disappointed if you do. Channie, have you heard that saying before?”

“Yes hyung, you always say it to Seokmin-hyung,” Chan says. Seokmin can practically see his interest in the conversation get replaced by the urgent need to escape.

“Dino, who’s baby are you~~” Jeonghan coos just as Chan flees, and once he’s gone Jeonghan collapses on Seokmin’s shoulders, breathless with laughing.

 

“Your hyungs are kind of scary,” is the first thing Jung Jaehyun says to him.

Seokmin is struck by two things at once: one, that Jaehyun took the initiative to start a conversation, instead of letting Seokmin get eaten inside out by the nervous tadpoles nibbling on his stomach— and it’s objectively the kindest thing anyone has done for him. Two, this conversation would most certainly get edited out later and all of Jaehyun’s kind-hearted efforts would be in vain.

“Please ignore them,” Seokmin says, barely stopping himself from burying his face in his hands, or retreating into the collar of his jacket like a turtle into a shell. “I _asked_ them not to do this. Oh god. I’m really sorry, they’re always this embarrassing.”

“Don’t be,” says Jaehyun, dimpling. He waves at Soonyoung, whose bright orange hair sticks out terribly in the foliage he’s trying to hide behind. “They must want you to do well. How did they get on set?”

Seokmin drains his glass of water. Police sirens are blaring in his mind; he can just imagine the headlines. _Majority of rookie boy group Seventeen arrested for trespassing._

Their mugshots would look _amazing_.

“I don’t want to think about it,” he says hoarsely.

He’s relieved when Jaehyun finds this funny, not sad. Even at the expense of his hyungs, Seokmin’s proud for making him laugh.

By now, they’ve begun attracting stares, some for the elaborate filming setup they have and some for how _striking_ Jaehyun is just sitting there in his hoodie and snapback. Seokmin can’t get used to it, or how Jaehyun doesn’t so much as look back at the crowd looking at them. Jeonghan, who gets the same amount of stares, has an entire routine he has to go through when he’s dealing with people checking him out including surreptitious glances, disinterested nods, and Seokmin himself doing something like tip over a table arrangement (not always on purpose) to grab attention away from him.

The PD suggests moving locations and Seokmin agrees gladly.

“Can either of you drive?” they get asked while the noonas touch up their makeup. Seokmin and Jaehyun look at each other and shrug.

“Mingyu can,” Seokmin says to fill the silence. “He learned for one of our MVs. Guess you got the wrong 97-liner.”

Something flares in Jaehyun’s eyes. “Yeah, if we were filming a show about driving,” he says, stunning Seokmin into open-mouthed silence. “I’m having fun with _you_ , Dokyeom-ah.”

“That was, um,” Seokmin says, once he’s recovered. He puts a hand over his racing heart. “Shimkoong doesn’t really cover it, Jaehyun-ah. But, um, I’m really glad you’re enjoying yourself. Sorry about my hyungs, they’re still being weird over there.”

 _Over there_ turns out to be closer than they’d thought; even Jaehyun’s good-natured enthusiasm gets shocked into standby when they see Seungcheol and Seungkwan in deep discussion with the PD while Jeonghan and the writer noonas chat. Soonyoung abandons all pretenses and comes up to them directly.

“’Sup, Jaehyun,” he says cheerfully. “My name’s Hoshi. Has our Seoku been taking care of you well?”

“Nice to meet you, sunbaenim,” says Jaehyun. His smile has changed, just a little: it’s gone a little distant. Seokmin, who hadn’t noticed that Jaehyun was being warm until he’d stopped, has to hold in a gasp of surprise.

He tries to see Soonyoung through Jaehyun’s eyes, as a sunbae, as a choreographer, and utterly fails. He’s just too _Soonyoung_ to be anybody else, all hamster cheeks and ill-contained excitement.

Seokmin wonders if Jaehyun has someone like Soonyoung in his life.

“For the record, I was against this,” Jeonghan says, strolling up next to Soonyoung and smirking at them like they can’t _see_ the camera hanging around his neck. “Oh, this is for my new hobby,” he adds blithely when he catches them eyeing it. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m into bird-watching now. I’m Jeonghan, by the way. You can call me hyung if you like.”

“Thank you,” Jaehyun murmurs politely, the same time Seokmin says, “ _Bird-watching._ Hyung, I thought you were the best liar I know.”

“What’s this?” Jeonghan says, all challenge. Soonyoung winks at Jaehyun as if to say, _watch this._ “Are you saying I came all this way in this sun to take pictures of you and Jinyoung here? Wow. Wow, I can’t _believe_ what an arrogant dongsaeng I have.”

Seungcheol and Seungkwan enter the conversation, cutting off Seokmin’s aggrieved noises. “Hey guys, I think we have a solution for this driving thing. To make it look more organic, one of us will drive you.” Seungcheol pauses. “And that one will be Jeonghan, since he’s the only one here with a license.”

At this, Soonyoung bursts out laughing and Seokmin’s incredulity comes out of him seventeen syllables per minute. “Hyung you can’t do that, what’s the point of me being on the show with Jaehyun-ah, _we’re_ the ones who need to bond and if Han-hyung’s there it’ll be super awkward if we don’t talk with him as well, it’ll be super awkward _anyway_ because this is a really stressful situation and I really don’t need Han-hyung there making it worse!”

“Yah,” says Jeonghan, serene. “What did I tell you about overthinking things? I’ll just be there as your driver. Think of it like you’re the ones singing a duet, and I’m the backing band.”

Soonyoung stops laughing long enough to choke, “Pretty sure I’ve never seen backing band members with a face like yours, hyung.”

“You shut up,” Jeonghan says, smiling. “Well? Don’t you agree it’s a better idea than having the staff drive you like any old show?”

He’s addressing both of them but Seokmin gets a weird feeling Jeonghan’s mostly asking Jaehyun. Jeonghan doesn’t do confrontation, but he does like to pretend, to scope out an opponent. He can’t _believe_ Jeonghan’s doing it right now.

Seokmin sends a mental apology to his friend.

But then, Jaehyun is looking up; the shade of the brim of his snapback recedes from his face as he smiles warmly at Seokmin.

“What do you want to do, Seoku?”

Seokmin blink-blink-blinks.

“I, um,” he rasps. “I really don’t know. You pick, um, Jaehyunnie.”

Jaehyun’s dimple digs in deeper. “Then I think getting Jeonghan-sunbaenim drive us sounds good.”

The weird tension in the air skyrockets. Soonyoung stops laughing and starts giving nervous glances to Jeonghan.

“Okay then, it’s decided.” Damn, Seokmin should have asked for more water. “We’re in your care, Hannie-hyung.”

 

 _But handsomeness is such a subjective thing_ , Mingyu had once said to him, during their endless trainee years. _Are you saying you get awkward around people_ you think _are handsome?_

Maybe he was miffed that Seokmin was totally fine with him, whereas Seokmin had spent almost a week slipping out of rooms since Jeonghan joined the agency.

(That lasted right up until Jeonghan cornered him with a casual _Yah, Lee Seokmin-ah. If you keep avoiding hyung like this I might think I’m not cool enough for you or something_ and smirked as Seokmin stuttered apologies.

 _Don’t apologize,_ he’d said.

 _I’m just sick of the other trainees telling me how funny you are without knowing for myself_.)

The possibility had only occurred to Seokmin after they’d debuted, and Mingyu was declared their official visual. At the time he’d only wrung his hands and denied it vehemently.

“No, I mean it’s people who are _objectively_ beautiful.” Seokmin’s surrounded by attractive people all day; there are times he gets fascinated with the way Wonwoo bites his lips when he’s thinking, and he falls in love with Soonyoung all the time. All of them are explosions of different types of charms, but Jeonghan is just objectively absolutely and undoubtably more beautiful than _all_ of them.

It’s not a hard concept to understand.

“But you’re _fine_ with Jeonghan-hyung,” Mingyu protested, because at sixteen he was even worse at letting stuff go than he is now. “It’s your friend from high school you’re not okay with. You and Jeonghan are best friends.”

“Hannie-hyung is different,” Seokmin said, and then pretended not to notice the way Mingyu started clawing at his own hair. “He’s Hannie-hyung, you know?”

 

With Jeonghan in the front seat, Jaehyun transforms. Specifically he transforms into the ice prince Seokmin had admired and dreaded from afar for almost ten years.

“Are you hungry?” Seokmin says, all too aware of the cameras recording all of this from every angle. He pats his hair down self-consciously. “Maybe we could stop at a café and get something to eat first?”

He makes eye contact with the frustratingly easygoing PD in the passenger seat, and gets a shrug and a thumbs-up. Approved, then. This was a good, almost Seungkwan level plan; no one expected even the most reaction-rich idols to be talkative during meals, and Seokmin could come up with a plan to unthaw his companion and silence the growling beast in his stomach at the same time.

Too bad, then, that Jaehyun smiles politely and turns him down with a, “I’m on a diet, sorry.”

The car’s tires skid. Seokmin gets the sinking feeling all the cameras just zoomed in as one on Jeonghan’s face, which is a perfect mask of composure save for a telltale twitch of his lips.

“Oops,” he says. “Saw a…rat. Carry on.”

Seokmin turns to Jaehyun with renewed determination. “Oh? Does that mean you’re about to have a comeback, NCT Jaehyun-ssi?”

He shakes his head. “The diet is year-long. We don’t go on special diets for comeback season.”

“As expected of SM,” Seokmin whistles. “NCT’s discipline is no joke.”

This makes the corners of Jaehyun’s mouth curve into a little smile. “I think it’s admirable to have the resolve to lose a lot of weight at once, too.”

There’s a loud cough from the driver’s seat, but Seokmin’s getting better at ignoring Jeonghan’s non-verbal commentary by now. “You don’t have to say that, Jaehyun-ah. I’ve heard that it’s not good to balloon up and down like we do. Soonyoungie-hyung – that’s Hoshi, from Seventeen—he and I are the worst in our team. We, uh, like eating a lot.”

Jeonghan has what sounds like a bad coughing fit, which Seokmin again ignores. “You have to come out with us sometime, Jaehyun-ah. On an off day. It’ll be a lot of fun.”

Jaehyun opens his mouth and Seokmin braces for rejection. _What a dumbass—of course Big Three rookies don’t have off days._ He’s aware that his chances to wrap this conversation up are dwindling; he should have segued into comeback spoilers instead of making that stupid offer. _You’re a disgrace to BooSeokSoon._

Then, unexpectedly, Jaehyun’s eyes flicker towards the driver’s seat where Jeonghan isn’t even doing anything.  

“Sure,” Jaehyun says with a small smile. “That _does_ sound fun. Call me next time.”

 

The first break they get, Seokmin corners Jeonghan.

“ _Hyung,”_ he hisses, fending off Jeonghan’s thieving hands from his bag of chips. “Hyung, why are you being like this?”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “I just drove you across town and you’re complaining? I didn’t even drive too fast because I know you hate it.”

“Aha,” says Seokmin. In Jeonghan-speak, avoidance is as good as a confession. “You _did_ know it was super awkward having you here but you still did it. So…”

“So?” Jeonghan prompts.

“ _So_ ,” Seokmin says again, and stops. Swallows. Circles his wrists and pulls him close and searches Jeonghan’s eyes for a truth that he can anchor himself on.

There’s something going on here that he doesn’t understand. Jeonghan is petty, underhanded, and has absolutely no scruples stopping him from fighting dirty, but he’s not a bad guy. He’s the kindest person Seokmin knows. And he would never in a million years do _anything_ to jeopardize Seokmin’s broadcast unless there was something vitally important.

“Hyung, you know I’m stupid,” Seokmin murmurs. They’re so close their breaths have started to mingle. “You’re always having to explain things to me, aren’t you?”

“Shut up,” Jeonghan says, voice hoarse. “It’s only funny when _I_ call you stupid.”

Seokmin smiles a little at that. “See, hyung, when you say stuff like that, it makes it harder to figure out why you’re doing this.” He runs his thumb over the line of Jeonghan’s cheekbone, one of Seokmin’s favorite parts of his face. Jeonghan’s lashes dip and Seokmin’s mouth goes unbearably dry. “Hyung, help me figure out what I’m missing. I get a feeling it’s important.”

Jeonghan huffs out a laugh. “The important things are the most obvious, Kyeommie. And this is so obvious you’d have to be a fool not to see it right in front of you.”

“I _am_ a fool,” Seokmin says, feeling strangely scared. “I’m Jeonghannie-hyung’s fool.”

Jeonghan’s face spasms, like he’s fighting down some great emotion from showing. This is the first time Seokmin’s come so close to recognizing what it is.

Seokmin’s hands have begun to shake. (Maybe he _has_ learned something from Jaehyun, if he was this nervous.) Jeonghan must feel it, because his eyes narrow and his mouth purses into a puzzled frown.

 _Obvious,_ he thinks, with something that tastes bitter like sadness. _As if anything about Hannie-hyung has ever been obvious._

Jaehyun’s voice calls, “Seokmin-ah!” and Seokmin lets go of Jeonghan’s wrists without meeting his eye.

“Things that are obvious to guys like hyung and Jaehyun,” he says quietly, “aren’t really obvious to me.” He scuffs his foot on the ground. “We should go.”

He turns without a word and returns to set with a dull roar in his ears. Jeonghan comes back ten minutes later, and it’s just as if nothing really happened.

 

Jaehyun is the first great love of his life.

For someone so fanciful, Seokmin has fallen in love only twice: both times he fell quick, suffered a lot, and stayed under for far longer than anyone said he would. With Jaehyun it was a sweet little middle school crush that soured into a bitter and long-winded unrequited love in high school.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if not for Seokmin’s own inability to hide anything. Jaehyun asked for an extra pencil in Maths class and he sighed; he went to watch the basketball team practice even though all his friends were in choir. He was an open book and everyone must have read him; Jaehyun, who was smart (it was always the smart ones) certainly did, because he stopped talking to him and broke Seokmin’s glass heart. He must have thought it was kinder than an outright rejection, or letting Seokmin (and the rest of their school) think he had a chance.

They graduated and went their separate ways; now, no one seems to remember the rumors in high school reunions, and Seokmin objectively sees that it’s better this way. There’s more at risk now, more people to get affected. Jaehyun’s small cruelty when they were sixteen saved both their reputations, and that’s the kind of person Seokmin has come to admire: guarded, defensive, vigilant.

He just wishes he’d been smart enough to learn his lesson.

 

He knew he hadn’t changed, because it got so bad Soonyoung had to talk to him about it just a week ago.

“Kiss, kiss,” he mumbled as he rolled into Seokmin’s bed, and pouted his lips cutely until Seokmin put away his phone and pecked him on the cheek. “Yah. I can’t believe I have to _ask_ for attention for you to look at me. Hyung wants to be appreciated once in a while, you know.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Seokmin said with a smile. They threaded their fingers together and beamed at each other; SeokSoon were bosses at all this skinship stuff. “Shouldn’t you go to sleep, hyung?”

“Too excited,” Soonyoung said, and Seokmin laughed because of course he was. Soonyoung got really keyed up in front of Carats. “Tomorrow’s fanmeeting will be great too, I can’t wait. Play with me then, okay?”

“Hyung, I always play with you.”

“Not today. Not at our last concert, either. You’re always busy with Jeonghan.” Soonyoung hesitated as Seokmin gave an embarrassed chuckle. He squeezed Seokmin’s hand. “Hey Seoku?”

“Yeah?”

“We all have members we’re closer to than the others, right? But we need to show Carats that we get along as a team as well so when we’re in front of them we have to show our love for everyone.”

For one breathless moment, Seokmin doesn’t get it. He keeps smiling at Soonyoung because this is his best friend and Soonyoung has never hurt Seokmin in any way before.

Then he understands: this isn’t his best friend Soonyoung, but Performance Team leader Hoshi, and he’s saying what needs to be said for the good of Seventeen.

“I’m too obvious,” Seokmin translated. He was always around Jeonghan so it couldn’t be that hard to tell how he felt about him. Thinking back, Seokmin wonders how he didn’t realize it himself: it felt like all he’d been doing in the past few months was wait for Jeonghan to notice him, for Jeonghan’s arm around his shoulder or the whisper of Jeonghan’s hair against his cheek.

Did _Jeonghan_ know?

The thought made Seokmin’s blood run cold. Jeonghan was smart; there was no way he didn’t know. But he was also kind, and sensitive, and cared about the team’s harmony more than almost anyone else.

This wasn’t high school; Jeonghan couldn’t just stop speaking to him and move on.  

Seokmin’s head bowed. “Thanks for telling me, hyung,” he said. He couldn’t look at Soonyoung. “I’ll cool it down.”

Soonyoung stroked his hair, a distinctly Jeonghan gesture, and Seokmin flinched.

“Oh, Seoku,” Soonyoung said sadly, and hugged him close. “You deserve better than this. I’m so sorry.”

 

 

“At least put it on silent,” the PD says, exasperated.

“Yessir,” Seokmin says meekly and un-pockets his phone, and tries not to feel too bad for muting Soonyoung’s loud and boisterous ringtone of him screaming _Blow, Hurricane_. He catches Jaehyun biting back a smirk from the corner of his eye.

They’ve got a decent two hours’ worth footage from the half-day and the crew are glowing with satisfaction as Seokmin and Jaehyun stroll through the last section of an aquarium. It’s the last location for the day, and Seokmin prides himself on not going overboard with jokes, shouting excitedly over Jaehyun, and not making too many broadcast-unworthy comments out of desperation. It’s the most productive shoot he’s ever had, and he tries not to think about how much of that comes from not having the members hyping him up in the background. Without the members, he’s… _normal._

All of that lasted right up till Soonyoung decided to spam him with calls.

“Let’s wrap this up in ten minutes,” the PD says. “Try to wrap it up in a heartwarming note. DK-ssi, I’m expecting a good ending ment.”

“No pressure,” Jaehyun murmurs, and smiles when it makes Seokmin laugh. “Today _was_ a lot of fun. I know we don’t get to hang out a lot even when it’s just Yugyeom and Jungkook and the rest of the 97 liners, but I knew you would be easy to get along with. I just didn’t expect it to be _this_ easy,” he admits with a grin. “We’re just so different, after all.”

Seokmin bites his lip. “Ey, what do you mean,” he says uneasily. “Of course we’re not different.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen in realization, and he blurts, “No, I didn’t mean it in that way! I was just thinking about how I tend to stay on my own and you’ve got a sort of healing personality that makes people want to be close to you. You gave me a lot of energy today, Min-ah. I wish…”

Seokmin blinks. “You wish what?”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he says, smiling. “I’m glad to see you doing so well in Seventeen. I guess we both live in kinder worlds now than we used to.”

They’d lasted the whole day without talking about high school; the reminder makes Seokmin grimace out of instinct. It would be terribly awkward and awkwardly terrible if Jaehyun apologized, and Seokmin had been dreading it all morning. More than everything else, it would be _terrible_ television if Seokmin started to cry.

But this is better. This is right. Being in Seventeen is nothing like being in high school, and Jeonghan and Jaehyun are nothing alike.

“You’re right,” Seokmin says, calm for the first time that day. He beams at Jaehyun and it feels like a good ending, his oldest burdens laid to rest at last. “We’re pretty lucky, aren’t we?”

Jaehyun keeps smiling at him as Seokmin turns to the camera. “We’ve been acquaintances for a long time but we weren’t friends, so it means a lot that we can get along like this. We wish this show to hit daebak and thank the staff for giving us this opportunity to bond. This has been Seventeen Dokyeom,”

“NCT’s Jaehyun,” Jaehyun murmurs, his arm around Seokmin’s waist.

“And this has been A Day With Dokyeom and Jaehyun! Fighting!”

He keeps smiling till the PD calls cut. His good feeling only grows.

 

Jeonghan is napping in the back seat when Seokmin gets back. He stopped following them on set after Seokmin walked away from him, but he was too strong-willed to back out of his promise to drive them around for the day. He’s probably dying to complain. 

The production team is gone, with promises to send the edited footage for review in two weeks. Jaehyun also left in a cab with another promise to meet up soon.

Seokmin feels a thrill when it dawns on him that they’re finally _alone._

He stretches his mouth out wide with his fingers, plasters himself to the window, and taps on it.

Disappointingly, Jeonghan’s eyes are completely alert when they snap open. He looks at Seokmin and mumbles _what_ but it’s out of confused amusement more than fear.

Seokmin sighs and mouths, _let me in._

“Where’s the crew? And, uh, Jaehyun?” Jeonghan asks wearily once Seokmin’s settled in the passenger seat. He doesn’t start the car. “Do we need to wait for him?”

“No, he left already,” Seokmin says. In any other time he’d smile at Jeonghan’s conscious efforts to be polite to Seokmin’s friends. But it’s quickly apparent Jaehyun isn’t the only one Jeonghan’s cautious of; he’s never been this guarded around Seokmin before. A hot, aching feeling rises up in Seokmin’s throat. He blabbers, “The shoot ended kinda early so he called a cab, and the crew were really happy with us, you know, hyung, except for that one time Soonie-hyung kept calling me every ten seconds. I should call back now and ask what that’s about.”

“No need,” Jeonghan, at least, sounds a shade more placid than before. “He was probably going to beg you to save you from my wrath. Don’t bother.”

“…you’re mad at him?”

“For putting weird ideas in his dongsaengs’ head,” Jeonghan says without looking at him, though Seokmin knows his tells: the sideways flick of his eyes means Jeonghan is talking about _him._ “I was going to die of boredom these past few fansigns and concerts because I had no one to play with.”

“I’m telling Shua-hyung you said that.”

“Stop being dense on purpose, brat.”

Seokmin starts laughing. It leaves his dry throat in coughs that are almost sobs. “I thought I had to be, hyung,” he says, because it’s _unbearable_ how miserable he’s been. “I thought I had to pretend. Aren’t you the one always telling me not to get my hopes up?”

Jeonghan visibly struggles to stay calm. His voice cracking, he says, “Not about the important things, you dummy.”

“You’re not the first one who told me that, you know,” Seokmin says, fast. “Jaehyun, in high school. There used to be rumors about us because everyone knew I had a stupid crush on him, which was bad, us being trainees about to debut and all. That’s why we, um, never really talk. And why I never got over him.”

Jeonghan has gone white. He says, “Hm, I thought it might be something like that,” but he sounds _furious._

“But, hyung,” Seokmin says, “I got it today. I don’t know why it took me so long, but. Hyung would never do that.”

Jeonghan’s still simmering, caught up in his fury. “Of course I wouldn’t.”

“And that’s what’s important to me now.”

Seokmin’s expression makes Jeonghan halt.

Slowly, he sees his hyung make sense of what was said in that quicksilver brain of his. Of Seokmin’s behavior and his confession.

Then he says: “You _idiot,”_ and looks at him with his eyes glimmering. His hands find Seokmin’s own and their fingers tangle tightly.

Seokmin swallows. “Hyung,” he says, his voice rasping in his dry mouth. “I don’t know what to do when you look at me like that.”

Jeonghan leans over the gearbox until he’s just a breath away. His eyes dip in a move that’s probably calculated and _unbearably_ sexy.

“Idiots shouldn’t think too hard, and go with their instincts,” he murmurs, and the look in his eyes is so lovely it’s breathtaking. “It’s okay to stop pretending.”

Seokmin leans forward those last few inches and kisses him.

It’s as if Jeonghan has given him permission to say all those things he’d bitten back, feel all the emotions that he knew would get him in trouble. Seokmin kisses him for all the times he’d wanted to but didn’t dare, all those times Jeonghan was brave enough to look at him with hope in his eyes. When Jeonghan kisses back his mouth tastes of the lingering sweetness of his strawberry ice cream, his tongue slipping knowingly along Seokmin’s until they’re both gasping for breath.

 “ _Hyung_ ,” Seokmin says in a strangled voice, because Jeonghan looks _unreal,_ his eyes hooded and heavy and his hair a total mess. His hands itch to take a picture. “You’re so handsome. I really like you.”

Jeonghan’s eyes crinkle into a smile. “Glad you got that out before I grew old waiting.”

 

 

Back home, Seungcheol is waiting with his arms crossed.

“Woo, people owe me money,” is the first thing he says upon noticing Seokmin’s hand firmly gripped in Jeonghan’s. Then he clears his throat and adds, “I doubt I need to explain all the rules and consequences of dating a group member, but for what it’s worth I’m happy for you. Jeonghan, you of all people should know about keeping up appearances.”

Jihoon barely looks up from his computer. “I highly doubt it’s going to change the way they act around each other, Coups-hyung. Even Carats have got used to it.” To Seokmin and Jeonghan he hands a sour candy each. “Congratulations,” he says, with enough gravity to make it clear he’s fucking with them. “We probably won’t get any more lyrics about pining, will we, Jeonghan-hyung?”

Jeonghan goes pink.

Seokmin goes dazedly as he gets dragged towards the bedrooms. “Hyung, what—”

“I’m frustrated,” Jeonghan says loudly. “I’m going to murder Soonyoungie to calm down. Help me bury the body.”

Seokmin grins, because Jeonghannie-hyung is _cute_. “Hyung, can’t we just make out?” he asks, and pretends to pout when Jeonghan looks at him in shock. His eyes soften as Seokmin does more over-the-top aegyo, and begin filling with heat.

“I _guess,”_ he says with an air of great reluctance, playing with Seokmin’s fingers and pulling him close. “But we’ll murder Soonyoungie after that.”

“You’re so cute, hyung,” Seokmin says. Solemnly, he adds, “Anything for you.”

Jeonghan’s eyes sparkle, like the ridiculous manhwa walk-out he is. “You’re my favorite,” he says, and kisses Seokmin.

That’s basically all there is to it, Seokmin thinks, dizzy and delighted, his hands in Jeonghan’s soft hair. Jeonghan and Seventeen.

He has found his kinder world.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know why Jaehyun keeps making cameos in my fics as That One Guy so much when i'm actually pretty fond of him. it's 2018, seokjae needs to happen :( 
> 
> I'm a melancholy DK stan at: @fightme_dk
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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